A wee bit discouraged tonight. Ironically, I've felt like I've been a better mom lately, partly just due to spending more time with the kids because of summer. But that has brought my writing/business/blog almost to a halt. Today I got an email from the lawyer doing my trademarks and almost found myself thinking - did I really expect to have things to trademark in an honest to goodness business? What are we spending on these trademarks?!! Very much the yin and yang of life I guess.
I read an article on Michelle Obama recently from Reader's Digest I think - it was in the free magazine bin at the library so it was probably a bit outdated. In it she said she learned from her mom that she could indeed have a career, be a mom, and still find time to work out and "do her own thing" (I'm paraphrasing here). She said she felt her mom had given everything to them - her children - without holding back enough for herself and that her mom had also encouraged her not to do that.
I have to believe there is something to that, but it isn't easy to find the right balance. I love my kids so much, but when they hit middle school, I don't want to be a third wheel hanging out at the basketball hoops with their pals because I don't have a life of my own;-). I do want to accomplish something that only I can, and not just through my kids. But at the same time, I don't want to shortchange them when I realize daily how needy and young they still really are. Anyway, thus ends my introspection with no resolution, but it was good to write.
In my dream world, five years from now, June 8, 2015, Greg and I and the kids are sitting at a dinner, with happy, healthy kids, I'm a published author and my company is financially successful, I have a great marriage, good relationships with friends and family, have inner peace, have achieved FI, am healthy and fit and feel beautiful, and my gardens have been photographed for some magazine and given a lot of people enjoyment on mini-garden tours and maybe laugh more in general - sometimes I'm way too serious. For all my own parents had their issues, we grew up with a lot of laughter in the house - my mom has a great sense of humor - and I was just telling Greg the other night how we don't laugh a lot here. We smile, are content, but need more true belly laughs.
Above are pics of my incredibly supportive mother in law waiting with Kai for Kirk's basketball camp to get over. Then Kirk looking at the high school trophies, perhaps dreaming of future days? Then my whoops - I've actually done really well not spending on anything but food and toiletries for four days now, but stopped at a garage sale on the way to the library and was handing over my dollar for the book and t-shirt when I realized these items didn't fit my challenge. But I was a bit too embarrassed to put them back;-). I will say even these short few days make me very conscious of how often I find myself thinking I need to buy x or y and how much time shopping takes!
Good wishes to all. A bright, wonderful world just keeps on coming! Eileen
P.S. I just took about 30 minutes to look back through the blog, which I realize I've been keeping a bit more than a year - first post June 25, 2009, and feel lucky and blessed for all the good moments and beauty the year has held. Many thanks to each of you who read this. I think of you as friends on a journey. Eileen